A guy who sits near me has a computer that we've been using for test purposes. I added some speakers to the computer and I've remoted into the computer so I can play sounds on the test computer from where I'm sitting. The first sound I tried was a mosquito, but I think the sound quality was poor; he complained about static coming from the speakers. Oh well.
Next, I'm going to try farting sounds. I think he's one of those inadvertent farters that just lets one loose if it's available. I'll have to see if I can get him to question himself (or check his pants). He's away right now, so I'll have to update the post with the results after he returns.
I should've been a social scientist.
UPDATE: It didn't go well; I should've expected as much. My cube-dwelling pal just said, "This computer is farting." I did a poor job of setting things up. I'm a failure as a social scientist.
I'll make some changes and try again one day. First, I need better speakers and better sound overall. Sound quality is important; it has to sound real. Next, I'll hide the speakers and test to make sure it's hard to determine where the sound is coming from. Lastly, I'll use annoying insect sounds rather than noisy body functions.
I've come to the conclusion that people who emit a constant array of gross sounds have some self awareness, and thus, they can determine that the sounds are external to themselves. (Maybe the experiment wasn't a failure; I determined that farty people can be self aware.)
It's just like a startup: morph and try again.
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